Things have been terrific in your relationship, but now you’re starting to feel stress and cracks are starting to show. There’s been cross words, there’s been arguments, and you feel things are taking a turn for the worse — and you don’t want that to happen.
The anger that starts to rise with every sentence said in a curt voice needs to be modified, or things will be inevitably said that can never be taken back. Accusations fly without forethought or caution about what feelings this may stir up. Relationships need constant attention and care before small things become big cracks and cannot be sealed up.
One of the many services we provide at Living Well Dallas is relationship coaching with Jenny Bair. We can sit down and talk in a collaborative fashion about each other’s personalities, and how to make sure that those conflicts are resolved in a positive, cooperative fashion. The focus is about the rebuilding of a strong foundation where things are done in tandem, rather than try to control things in a solo, dominating fashion with controlling behaviors.
We focus on the big picture of your lives together and teach you to not keep things compartmentalized and held back until they blow up like a volcano. Those moments are the ones where words cannot be taken back. Those are the moments where things turn down a road of darkness, rather than the enlightenment of fixing things together and walking hand in hand toward a better future. Those moments are ones that are vital to keeping a relationship healthy and mutually satisfactory with both people growing into better people individually as their mutual growth continues.
Among the things we focus on and work to repair;
Ask for grace: Being able to ask for forgiveness and receive it with sincerity can be hard during some hard arguments. You may hear ‘I’m sorry’ but you may not believe it. Or it doesn’t carry the weight you believe it would be normally worth because you think it’s patronizing. But asking for grace and believing it with sincerity is important for the health of any relationship that has a long future. Knowing that forgiveness is being sought, and granted, helps heal hurt feelings. And knowing that you can sit and say ‘sorry’ to each other with sincerity and love as part of the healing process is powerful.
Give grace: What annoys you about your partner may be something that is reflected of your own personality. To ask your partner to face hard truths about themselves may be what you need for conflict resolution going forward. This goes beyond ‘It’s not me, it’s you.’ This may be something such as listing what about your partner annoys you, then also taking a look in the mirror and asking if this is a characteristic of yourself, and how it could affect your partner as well. Dealing with the same annoyances can be an episode where you work together and it helps bring you closer together as a couple.
Receiving grace: Navigating through the storms of relationship issues and into the clear skies of a better future ahead are also built on forgiveness. Being able to say that you are sorry is one thing. It’s another thing entirely to say, full of heart and soul, to say ‘I forgive you.’ You cannot move forward, hand in hand, without forgiveness. Having that forgiveness accepted in the soul of your partner is when cracks in the foundation begin to get filled. Forgiveness allows a couple to look into the future without repeating the mistakes of the past, or should there be another argument later on, bringing up old accusations of the past.
Relationship counseling is one of the many services are available to you at Living Well Dallas to help you live your best life. Jenny Bair is a marriage and relationship coach certified in SYMBIS, which stands for Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts and is perfect for dating, pre-engaged, engaged and married couples. When she works with you as a couple, you will receive a 15-page report when you start your coaching package to unpack results that are unique to you. Instead of trying to assume control of your relationship and be the boss, both of you are able to focus on working in a collaborative fashion so that you can rely on each other instead of feeling as if the weight of the entire relationship is on your shoulders.
Keeping yourself at your best emotionally is vital to any life, and especially one in which a relationship is one of the foundations that gives you an added layer of meaning. Either call us at 972-930-0260 or email us at [email protected] and let us help you figure out how to get started Living Well again with your partner.